Today is the day

Today is the day – the pain is less but never gone. It seems strange that it was over 30 years ago that you left this life, but yet I still feel you so close by.  It seems strange that I have seen my daughter grow 1 year older than my mom got to see me.  I used to not want to do Christmas prior to today. I always felt that I had to get through today and then I could celebrate!  This year has been different, maybe it’s me maybe it’s that my kids are older I am not really sure, but I do know that today I will remember the fun, the memories and the happiness.

I will remember the woman who brought me into this world and who left it way too soon! She was  a single mom for most of my life and for all of my brothers.  But that never stopped her from making life fun and filled with excitement.  From our camper trips listening to Merle Haggard or driving around in the malibu and then our Riveria there was always something.

Memories such as the giant pink stuffed snake (not sure it was all that big but it seemed big to me) to her typing our gift cards for Christmas so we wouldn’t know it was her (did she think we couldn’t hear the type writer??) To playing school in the basement.

I still see her in my everyday life, in my daughters face, in my hands and on my freckles.  I know that God had a bigger plan for both of us but there are days that I wonder why. I guess I’ll get to ask Him when I get there.  Until then, mom I love you so very much.  Know that you live on in all of my children and in my heart.  Know that while you are gone you are not forgotten and I am so thankful for the person you made me today.

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