We all have dreams for our kids, we want them to grow up to be great adults, we want them to get good jobs and have families. When I asked Nicole if she was going to have kids, she told me “It’s part of my long term plan”. Yes my 12yo just told me she has a ‘long term’ plan. OK! When my kids were born I can tell you I saw great things for them, playing football for U of M, getting great jobs and meeting amazing people, getting married and having kids.
Any parent of adult children will tell you that your dreams are often not those of your kids and that they will do what they want! This has been true for my 2 oldest kids. One is working, loving life and has a great girlfriend, the other is figuring life out as an adult and on his way to college. Neither are playing Big 10 football, but that’s OK.
I read a post recently from a mom whose daughter just graduated from high school, she has the same disease as Nicole. It struck me because as I watched the kids march across the stage at PNHS (Class of 2017) there was one missing. Her mom had made the decision earlier in the year to pull her and have her get her GED. You see she was just too weak to finish school. Her disease had robbed her of the opportunity to do this. What did I tell her? You don’t need a high school diploma, (cue my brother who ran IT for one of the largest electronics manufacturers in the world! with a GED!)
However, when it’s your own kid it’s different, you want different things, you want them to graduate and go to school. I am preparing myself for the fact that my child will live life differently than others, she will do all the things that make her dream but they may look different than others and this is OK!
Sometimes we have to tackle not only the dreams but also the thoughts that threaten them. I love that the mom in the article made notes about the things she thought her daughter couldn’t do. OK She can’t do that but what can she do! We try to look at Nics life in ways of what can she do not what she can’t. This isn’t always easy (or possible) but when it is, that is how we look at it.
Today I am going to remind myself of all the amazing things she can do and not dwell on the what-ifs and the why nots!